Resident Evil Survivor
by FzX
Summary: When you lock the major main characters of the Resident Evil series into the spencer state adapted for this task. R&R!


Resident Evil "Survivor"  
  
"Resident Evil" and other elements of the series are property of Capcom Computer entertainment. I'm just gathering lots of characters for a "Survivor" parody with Resident Evil characters in the Spencer state from the Gamecube game.  
  
"Trent" is an original character from the Resident Evil books based in the games by S. D. Perry.  
  
After being transported by a strange vehicle into a strange mansion, the members of the large group of enemies of Umbrella enter into this strange but familiar mansion.  
  
Te members of the group are: Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, Rebecca Chambers, Barry Burton, Leon S. Kennedy, Claire Redfield, Ada Wong, Sherry Birkin, Carlos Oliveira, Steve Burnside, Billy Cohen and Ark Thompson.  
  
Chris turns to the strange surroundings as he inspects the area. As the rightful leader of the team, he commands everyone to inspect the area.  
  
Chris: All right people! Let's inspect this hall and look for clues about where the hell we are! Now!  
  
Everyone turn to him rolling their eyes slowly.  
  
Chris: What?  
  
Jill turns to Chris answering his STUPID question.  
  
Jill: Chris... This is the Spencer estate. The same one that supposedly blew up in 1998...  
  
Chris shuts his mouth as he turns up and speaks lowly.  
  
Chris: ... I always knew this was the Spencer state! But I wanted to make the fool of all of you! HA HA HA!  
  
Claire: You'll never grow up brother.  
  
Barry: Aren't we supposed to hear a gunfire from the east door after the first 15 seconds of dialogs?  
  
Trent: Not, in this mansion Mr. Burton.  
  
Everyone turn to the resonating sound in the entire all.  
  
Trent: Can all of you please be so kind to go to the dining room?  
  
Leon: And we're SUPPOSED to trust a resonating strange voice?  
  
Ark: Well, you always trusted in you imaginary friend during your childhood.  
  
Ada: Is that true Leon?  
  
Leon: Ark!  
  
Ark: Hmmmm... Oh my head! I have amnesia! Please don't hit me! I don't even know you!  
  
Leon: Nobody is going to take your amnesia trick anymore Ark!  
  
Rebecca: Guys! Stop! For now we can check what the voice wants.  
  
Ark: Are you my sister?  
  
Leon: That's enough...  
  
Everyone steps into the big dining room where a single TV rests on the big chair on the edge on the table near the fireplace.  
  
Trent: Welcome everybody.  
  
Steve: I had enough! You better tell me who you are before I blast the TV screen off!  
  
Claire: Steve, breath 10 times very calmly and think in your marvel comics.  
  
Steve: 1... 2... 3... Ok. Enough.  
  
Trent. Please sit down in any chair we want.  
  
Everyone sits on the chairs surrounding the dining table. Jill sits at the right of Chris, But Carlos sit on her right.  
  
Carlos: So Jill. After saving your life from Nemesis, would you like to go out with me?  
  
Chris: Hey! I know her even before you came to Raccoon! I deserve her!  
  
Carlos: And who told you to talk! Gringo?  
  
Chris: That's it! I had enough! I'm gonna shut that Latin mouth of yours!  
  
Carlos: "Oh! Help me! Mr. Gringo Racist id gonna violate my human rights!"  
  
Chris: Shut up!  
  
Jill: SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU! I WILL NEVER DATE ANYONE OF YOU TWO IF YOU KEEP FIGHTING LIKE LITTLE KIDS!  
  
Chris: She can be scary when she's angry...  
  
Carlos: Yes... You better saw what happened to Nemesis when he blew the Helicopter up.  
  
Chris: What she did?  
  
Carlos: You would never wish to be him...  
  
Flash back to the past when Nemesis destroyed the helicopter with his Rocket launcher in Resident Evil 3   
  
Jill: Over here!  
  
Carlos: Hey! Here we are!  
  
Jill: It's finally over...  
  
Carlos: So... they're with Umbrella. And you hate them. What you're gonna do?  
  
Jill: I'm gonna say that I'm Kimberly Sampsel. I just moved to Raccoon where I got this job at a nudist bar and became a complete bitch. You found me, I made my job and we got here.  
  
Carlos: So we're really gonna do it if we get out of here?  
  
Carlos' eyes shine with a sense of hope.  
  
Jill: I'm just acting up.  
  
Carlos: Oh...  
  
Suddenly everything that happened, happened. (I don't wana put details because I'm kinda lazy. -.-)  
  
Jill: Oh no!  
  
Carlos: The helicopter!  
  
Nemesis: Starrrsss...  
  
Jill: You!  
  
Carlos: It's Nemesis!  
  
Nemesis: Starrss...  
  
Jill: I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR "STARRRSSS..." AND YOUR BLOW UP AT WILL STUFF!  
  
Nemesis jumps off the ruined train as Jill gets closer to him. Nemesis growls at Jill in sense of "I'm gonna kill you."  
  
Nemesis: Roarr!  
  
Jill: OH SHUT UP!  
  
Jill plants her fist in Nemesis ugly face. Nemesis just shuts up in fear.  
  
Jill: I had enough of your mad behavior and your "Starrss" parrot language! Can you say anything else If you're so smart to open and close doors in a very efficient way and make use of a complicated Rocket launcher?  
  
Nemesis wants to get out of there because he feels a bad feeling about this.  
  
Nemesis: Stars stars stars stars. STARS!  
  
Jill: Shut up!  
  
Jill gathers strength in her knee as she smacks Nemesis' noble parts. With smacking and beatings, the angry Valentine is killing the poor Nemesis slowly.  
  
Carlos: Go Jill! A few more hits and he's dead!  
  
Before the last hit, Jill stops suddenly as she feels something breaking.  
  
Jill: Ouch! I broke a nail!  
  
Carlos: Who cares! Just kill Nemesis!  
  
Suddenly the rest of the story happens. Nemesis infects Jill, Carlos tries to be a Hero to attract Jill and the stupid Nemesis walks to the fire instead of other place.  
  
Back to the present  
  
Carlos: And that's how Jill almost killed the powerful Nemesis.  
  
Chris: She can get angry because of the mess in her apartment, but that's it...  
  
Carlos: Welcome to my world Chris...  
  
Trent: You have been chosen from all the people who faced Umbrella to the death. Of course, you are the only ones who survived from 3 million. Isn't that great?  
  
Billy: He talks like a kid.  
  
Rebecca: I'm not the one who plays Marco Polo each day with my friends.  
  
Billy: It is a rite when I was in the Navy!  
  
Rebecca: Yeah sure...  
  
Leon: So what are we supposed to do here?  
  
Trent: That's quite simple. We rebuilt the Spencer state and added more rooms and some entertaining. Example, a Karaoke room.  
  
Carlos: Yes! Now I can sing that Ricky Martin song! "Un, dos, tres. Un pasito pa adelante Maria!"  
  
Sherry: Buaaaa!  
  
Claire: What's wrong sweetie?  
  
Sherry: He sings like my dead doggy! Buaaa!  
  
Claire: WE DON'T WANNA HEAR YOU SING! You made little Sherry cry.  
  
Carlos: Sorry. How about that Magneto one? "Vuela vuela! No te hace falta equipage!"  
  
Steve: JUST SHUT UP!  
  
Carlos: Ok, ok. Geez, somebody has an hormones problem here.  
  
Trent: Also there is a Video confession room where the Spencer room is if anyone of you want to confess something. Like if Steve wet his bed.  
  
Steve: HEY!  
  
Trent: Sorry. But you're the youngest one here.  
  
Steve: What about Sherry?  
  
Trent: She has the mind of an adult now. You still have the mind of a little kid.  
  
Steve: Not fair! I'll tell this to the video confessionary!  
  
Steve runs out of the room crying like a little kid.  
  
Claire: He's still a little kid...  
  
Trent: And that's not all! We'll be sending Bio-weapons for a survival test. Including Nemesis.  
  
Jill: But...  
  
Trent: His genetic sample survived after you deep fried him with the sword laser.  
  
Jill: Oh...  
  
Trent: Well... There are rooms in the mansion for every one of you. Just decide which rooms you want. I gotta go. See ya next week and good luck!  
  
Ada: Well, Trent is gone.  
  
Rebecca: And we have to stay in this mansion.  
  
Jill: Just hope that there are no zombies or monsters in here.  
  
Suddenly the doorknob of the door connecting to the green hall next room opens revealing a zombie in a butler tuxedo.  
  
Leon: Eeek! Zombie!  
  
Chris: Claire! Where's my gun!  
  
Claire: We didn't bring any guns!  
  
Jill: What are we gonna do?  
  
Sherry: I don't need to be like 24 years old to know that that Zombie doesn't want to attack us...  
  
Carlos: Really?  
  
The Zombie hands a note.  
  
Ada: A note?  
  
Ark: Let's read it!  
  
The note reads:  
  
I'm sorry for not informing this to you, but the Zombies in this house have been programmed to follow your orders.  
  
I know the trouble you had with ALL the Zombies you fought in the last years. No now they're under your control.  
  
Make wise use of them and keep their numbers. They're very limited.  
  
Please enjoy your stay.  
  
Trent.  
  
Carlos: Finally! This is service!  
  
Jill: I don't think so...  
  
Chris: Let's take advantage of the situation! Hey Zombie! Bring me some pink lemonade!  
  
The Zombie brings a glass of lemonade to Chris.  
  
Chris: Now rub my back!  
  
The Zombie rubs Chris' back.  
  
Chris: This is paradise!  
  
Jill: I don't think we're gonna survive this before we go nuts with all the weirdness around here...  
  
Me: He he. That's me. And I'm gonna make your life here a HELL!  
  
Jill: Nooooo!  
  
Chris: Look Jill! Zombie dog! Got get the leg!  
  
Chris throws a piece of leg still bleeding. The dog brings it back.  
  
Chris: Good doggy.  
  
Chris rubs the Dog's head.  
  
Chris: Eew... I'll just tell you Good boy from now on...  
  
Jill: Get me out of here!  
  
The doors are locked, they're trapped inside and they're about to live the nightmare... a very weird nightmare indeed. 


End file.
